A Season of Student Victims

It's been an amazing two weeks for campus life and the new definitions of victim-hood.

First, the Rutgers women's basketball team were called 'nappy-headed hos' by Don Imus, talk radio's fragile and unfunny dinosaur. He said something stupid -- actually agreed to a statement made by an on-air colleague -- and paid the price. The coach and the basketball team could have lashed back and said he was a racist old coot -- which he is -- but there was a mantle of victimhood to embrace. Instead of saying Imus's words were pathetic and did him more harm than to themselves, the coach and her team failed to display any of the strength and resiliance that got them to the finals.

Second, the Duke lacrosse team were declared innocent when the charges were dropped from their rape case last week. The happy faces of the accused were filled with relief from the false accusations, but their names are ruined. There are plenty of those who were so sure that the rich white athletes were guilty that I am sure they still believe the charges from the alleged victim, whose story has changed at least three times, are still true. Unlike the Rutgers team, the athletes declared their innocence and didn't play the race card when clearly many wanted to belive the story of a black victim at the hands of several white men.

And finally, a campus saw some true victims. A deranged shooter shot something more powerful than mean words or bogus accusations. Unlike the grinding, week-long Rutgers/Imus trainwreck, there was true physical pain and loss of life. We saw bravery and grace among people who fought back at the shooter or protected the students around them -- a lesson for us all. Mickey Kaus is right when he says that the Imus incident is diminished after the masacre at Virginia Tech. Of course, racially insensitive remarks shouldn't be tolerated and Imus' two-week suspension was just. But unlike the Duke accuser and the shooter in Blacksburgh, Imus apologized several times. Sadly, apologies are not enough in Victimville.

Abstinence classes -- failure or too early to tell?

It's not working and the abstinence critics will be happy to tell you all about it. In a new congressional report, students who took abstinence lasses were just as likely to engage in sex as those students who hadn't taken the course. And those who attended 25 percent of the classes had the same number of sex partners as those who did not attend.

I would hope even the critics of these classes would agree that this is depressing news. Not just the futility of the classes themselves but the stubbornness of today's teens. I went to high school during the days of raunchy teen comedies like Porky's and various slasher flicks when some girls throat was cut when she lost her virginity in a car, but being a teen today has to be head-spinning. Girls Gone Wild, lowcut jeans, rap videos, Internet smut, and celebrities who are more famous for falling out of their dresses than for the possession of any real talent all have a collateral effect. Trust me, I don't want to turn the calendar back to 1952 but my days in 1983 seem almost wholesome.

My daughter is eight and she has a classmates who have boyfriends. What that means in today's third grade, I have no clue but it doesn't bode well for the fifth grade.

Rain, rain, go away

Okay, I have had it. I want sun. I want mild temps. I want the smell of warming Earth. I saw some buds on a few shrubs yesterday but they have probably froze or drowned thanks to today's nor'easter.

Enough.

Garbage can blogging --- Advertisers welcome

We bought an $89 brushed steel garbage can for the kitchen. Yep, nearly ninety bucks for a place to store the dirty diapers, soda cans we are too lazy to recycle, and dead Chinese food. It's very cool -- the lid actually closes and we doubt that Rex will be able to open it for stray scraps. It looks so futuristic that you want to start looking for the USB port.

Now, we have to get a smaller model for Rex's dog food. I'm thinking a $60 unit for kibble. What have I become?

Mergers & Acquisitions -- a review exclusive

You know that you've read a terrific novel if you're searching for a new book to read and nothing excites except the memory of the last book you've just put down. I haven't felt this floaty since I closed The Emperor's Children but Mergers & Acquisitions is the main cause of my current book blues.

And it kills me that M&A is so well done, so smart and funny and with a strong voice -- and the guy who wrote it is barely 26. Ugh, that age! Hemingway and Updike were that old when they wrote their first books. I think it's the same for a bunch of other writers -- Salinger? Joyce? Fitzgerald? -- and this kid has talent. He has a sharp ear for dialogue and a keen eye for detail. I haven't devoured a book this fast in ages.

I loved the scene where the hero is an utter failure at his job but he keeps surviving by the seat of his chinos. His brother is making a small fortune reselling his ritalin and his father joins country clubs like I add on chins. Tommy Quinn is a smart guy who regrets that the only medical school that accepted him is in central America and this realization makes him enter high finance at JS Spencer. That firm is based on JPMorgan where the author, Dana Vachon, worked and barely suceeded. Thank God, he failed because we're all winners with the winning book.

Mergers & Acquisitions. Read it. Hate the author. Hate yourself for not being as talented. Read the book again. Repeat.

Oh, and I love the JS Spencer web site. 'You're going to need a bigger wallet.'

Gun, Apology and the Lash

While we can be grateful that the British sailors and marines were released safe and sound for the most part, one has to admit that Iranian President Amhadinejad is a master of propaganda and taking the lead in a potential crisis. Mickey Kaus is arguing -- counter to conventional wisdom, of course -- that the Iranians blinked when they released the 15 servicemen thanks to the USS Nimitz making its way to the Gulf. That would have meant three US aircraft carriers in the waters, including the supporting heavy cruisers and submarines carrying cruise missiles.

But what happens next? Surely this incident will repeat itself in the coming weeks and months. In fact, as the National Review recommends, the British Navy should continue patrolling Iraqi waters right away but with extra fire power. Next time, perhaps the Iranian Coast Guard won't be so eager to swoop in and kidnap sailors.

What is Dick Cheney thinking now? Imaging what he would have recommended if the detainees had been Americans brings a chill to the spine.

And the fact that we are guilty of torturing detainees ourselves gives us no opportunity to take the moral high ground when others torture our allies' servicemen. We had clearly and sadly forfeited the moral high ground.

Read this passage from the Times and ask if we have any right to be outraged:

"We had a blindfold and plastic cuffs, hands behind our backs, heads against the wall," Royal Marine Tindell said in an interview with the BBC. "Someone, I'm not sure who, someone said, I quote, 'Lads, lads, I think we're going to get executed.'

"After that comment someone was sick, and as far as I was concerned he had just had his throat cut..."

Re-entering the tube

I've become a Web zombie to the point that I stopped watching televsiion. But I've been won back. This time last year, I only watched The Sopranos, Entourage and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Still terrific shows even if The Sopranos is a shadow of itself. Maybe, they should have stopped after Nancy Marchand died.

But I've been pulled back into network television. I am loving NBC again. Thanks to NetFlix, I have been sucked into the US version of The Office. I am also catching back episodes of 30 Rock online. Sometimes the connection is slow and I have to wait for the Interweb to catch up, but it's ben fun. I cannot seem to make the time to watch the episodes as they air, but viewing them when I want is what TV is all about.

Has Alec Baldwin won an Emmy for 30 Rock? He def should.